Make your own free website on Tripod.com
HA   HA   YUK   YUK   FAMILY   JOKES   HAR   de   HAR   KNEE   SLAPPERS   SNICKER   he   he

On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty, it shall have tall magestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautifully sparkly lakes bountiful with carp and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, rivers stocked with salmon." God continued... "I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper,I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth" "But Lord," asked Gabriel "don't you think you are being too generous tothese Canadians?"

"Not really," replied God "just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them."

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd----no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind.

"A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again.

Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age.

"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St.Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where the dying man lay. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice:

"B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72. . ."

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.

Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell everything you know.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.



ANIMATION   COURTESY   OF   CLIP   ART

Help pay the rent! How about trying a little Crystal Lewis. or maybe Debbie's favorite, Stacey Q, some Madonna might be nice?

Watch very closely, right before you go to heaven, uh-heaven connection, "CD Now" will catch you off guard, if you aren't careful. Please fill in the blanks, then order, listen and thank me!









ALT="CDnow">
Artist
Album Title
Song Title



>Click here: A Moment in >Heaven

The Clip Art Connection
..
Bestsellers Books in the News: Top 100 Titles Recommended: Future Bestsellers
BarnesandNoble.com Search PageSoftware Search Page

FUN PLACES TO VISIT, THEY TREAT YA LIKE YA WAS SOMEBODY

Clarissa the clown
Funniest person I know
PRAY NOW
A place to pray for others and some bible scripture
CHURCH OF THE FOOTHILLS (church of hope and joy)
Pastor Platts has a unique way to spread the good news
CALVARY LUTHERAN CHURCH
FRIENDLY CONGREGATION GOSPEL PREACHED
STEVES STORIES
ever changing stories on many subjects
PRAISE GOD NOW
A place to give GOD praise and acknowledge our gifts
BACK to Dales Fun House

DALE

uffdah@jps.net
Granada Hills, CA
United States